Why Timers Can Be Especially Challenging for Children with ODD and PDA

Written By Tania Blackmore-Squires

Overview

Over the years, I’ve worked with several clients who have had extreme reactions to timers — sometimes to the point of complete shutdown or refusal. At first, this puzzled me. Why would something as simple as a timer, which most people find helpful, provoke such distress?

My understanding deepened when I reflected on my own experience as a mother of a boy who showed strong ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) tendencies. Traditional behaviour strategies — time-outs, sticker charts, reward systems, and even gentle countdowns — all failed spectacularly. As a long-time teacher, I was used to strategies that “worked,” but nothing made sense anymore.

It wasn’t until I trained as a Davis Autism Approach® Facilitator that I began to see the deeper reason behind these reactions. The issue wasn’t defiance — it was missing concepts like time, consequence, and control, to name but a few. What I once saw as petulance, stubbornness, or avoidance was, in fact, an expression of deep vulnerability and confusion.

Understanding this changed everything — both for my clients and for my family.

While timers are often suggested as helpful tools in both schools and homes, many children with ODD and PDA experience them very differently. Instead of providing structure, timers can heighten stress, fuel resistance, and spark explosive reactions. From the outside, this may look like defiance — but from a Davis perspective, it reflects something much deeper.

Timers depend on a solid grasp of concepts such as time, sequence, order, cause, and consequence. For children whose understanding of these concepts is missing or fragile, a timer doesn’t feel like a neutral guide — it feels arbitrary, confusing, even threatening. Their strong reaction isn’t about “being difficult”; it’s a protective strategy in a world that feels unpredictable.

In this blog, I’ll explore why timers so often backfire for children with ODD and PDA, how Davis theory helps us understand the root cause, and what alternatives can support these children more effectively.

The Problem with Timers

Timers are usually introduced to:

• Provide structure and predictability.

• Manage transitions between tasks.

• Reduce conflict over “how long” a child has to do something.

  
  

For children who are not ODD and/or PDA, this often works well. But for children with ODD and/or PDA, the opposite tends to happen: the timer becomes the enemy. Instead of reducing conflict, it creates power struggles, heightened anxiety, and even explosive behaviour. To understand why, we need to look at the Davis perspective on missing or fragile life concepts.

Missing or Fragile Concepts in the Davis Methodology

In the Davis Autism Approach® and Davis Concepts for Life® programmes, many children who display ODD or PDA behaviours are found to be missing — or have only a fragile grasp of — essential concepts such as Change, Cause, Effect, Consequence, Time, Sequence, and Order.

These concepts act as internal anchors. When they are strong, children can predict what will happen next, understand why rules exist, and connect their actions to outcomes. But when these concepts are weak, everyday situations can feel unpredictable, overwhelming, or unsafe. For example, if “Cause/Effect” isn’t established, a sanction (“If you hit, you lose screen time”) doesn’t connect internally — it feels arbitrary, confusing, or even threatening.

Why Sanctions Don’t Connect

When sanctions or rules don’t connect to a child’s inner framework of meaning, the results are often negative:

• Arbitrary → The link between behaviour and consequence feels random. Instead of teaching, it breeds mistrust.

• Confusing → Without cause-effect-consequence, the child can’t predict outcomes, fuelling instability and anxiety.

• Threatening → With fragile concepts, sanctions feel like loss of control. This triggers disorientation and fight/flight/freeze — what adults see as “defiance” or “avoidance.”

  
  

This explains why sanctions often backfire and why timers, which rely heavily on an internal grasp of time, sequence, and consequence, can be especially explosive triggers.

Why This Matters

Understanding this shift is crucial:

1. Learning doesn’t happen in crisis. When someone is disoriented — meaning their perception has shifted away from reality and they are no longer seeing, hearing, or feeling the world as it truly is — fear and confusion take over, and the brain cannot absorb new patterns.

2. Trust erodes. Arbitrary sanctions weaken relationships, making the adult seem unpredictable.

3. Behaviours escalate. Protective strategies strengthen, rather than reduce, the behaviours adults want to change.

   
   

This is why the Davis approach focuses on teaching concepts outside of crisis through clay-based mastery and self-regulation tools. Once the child has solid anchors for Change, Consequence, and Time, they can respond more calmly to challenges.

A Davis Perspective: Why Timers Trigger

From this standpoint, timers backfire for these main reasons:

1. Time as an abstract concept → fragile or missing for many children.

2. Loss of control → timers impose external authority.

3. Disorientation → stress heightens distortion, making timers feel intrusive.

4. Cause/effect/consequence gaps → the link between timer and task doesn’t make sense.

   
   

The Role of Disorientation

A key piece in the Davis methodology is disorientation — when perception shifts and the child misjudges time, sequence, or concepts such as trust, belief, rules, right, wrong, good and bad. Disorientation is often triggered by stress, uncertainty, or external demands.

• In this state, the world feels unpredictable, unsafe, or overwhelming.

• A timer may feel like a trap, a parent’s instruction like a threat, and a change of plan like a catastrophe.

• From the outside, it looks like overreaction or avoidance. From the inside, it’s self-protection.

Recognising the role of disorientation helps adults see that children aren’t choosing to be difficult — they are reacting from a place of instability.

Why Usual Behaviour Strategies Backfire

When adults double down — “If you don’t stop when the timer rings, you lose screen time” — it reinforces the child’s belief that the world is unjust or controlling. Instead of teaching time management, it amplifies mistrust and resistance.

Davis-Based Alternatives and Solutions

In both the Davis Autism Approach® and Davis Concepts for Life® programmes, the focus is on developing inner anchors that help individuals manage change, stress, and social expectations. Instead of external tools like timers, sticker charts, or behavioural sanctions, Davis methods work by creating true comprehension of abstract ideas through clay modelling and lived experience.

Here’s how the Davis method builds stability:

• Orientation, Release, and Dial Tools

  These are taught early in the programme to support presence and self-regulation.

  • Orientation restores clear perception and balance.

  • Release provides a way to let go of tension and regain calm.

  • Dial helps individuals sense and adjust their own energy levels.

    
    

• Concept Mastery via Clay

  Key life concepts are sculpted in clay. This transforms abstract ideas into something tangible and memorable.

  
  

• Experiential Integration

  After each clay model is created, the concept is explored in the real world. This step allows the learner to own the concept and apply it naturally in everyday life.

  
  

• Pathway to Self-Responsibility and Social Integration

  As concepts are mastered, individuals move toward applying them in relationships and society. Concepts like Trust, Responsibility, Rules, Belief, and We, become internal anchors, helping them interact with others more confidently and calmly.

  
  

Practical Example: Why a Timer Feels Like a Trap

Imagine a child with ODD or PDA tendencies who is told:"You have five minutes left — when the timer rings, you must finish."

From the adult’s perspective, this sounds simple. But if the child hasn’t mastered the concept of Time (how it works, how long five minutes actually feels, what happens when it “runs out”), the instruction feels arbitrary — even threatening. The timer becomes a symbol of control rather than support.

How Davis Changes the Experience

In a Davis programme, the concept of Time would first be modelled in clay — shaping what short and long time means, looks and feels like. Then, the facilitator and child explore this in real life — for example, setting a clock and noticing what happens in a genuine, experiential way.

Once the child has an internal anchor for Time, a shift happens:

• Instead of resisting the timer as an external demand, they understand what it represents.

• They can predict what “five minutes” feels like.

• They may even begin to use time language themselves: “Can I have two more minutes?”

  
  

This reframing moves the child from defensiveness into self-responsibility, because the concept is no longer alien or imposed — it is theirs.

Before and After: A Real-Life Shift

When my own son showed strong ODD and PDA behaviours, I tried all the usual strategies parents and teachers are advised to use:

• Sticker charts to encourage compliance

• Marbles in a jar to reward “good” behaviour

• Time-outs or “sit on the step” based on age

• Timers to mark transitions

  
  

None of these worked. In fact, they often made things worse. Instead of motivating him, these tools triggered defiance, meltdowns, or complete withdrawal. At home, it felt like we were always on edge.

The turning point came when I began training as a Davis Autism Approach® Facilitator. For the first time, I could see the cause behind my son’s reactions. His resistance wasn’t “naughtiness” or “defiance” — it was a response to missing or fragile concepts.

After Davis: Internal Anchors, Real Change

Once we worked through the Davis programme, the change was remarkable. For example:

• Before: If I set a timer for five minutes, he would shut down, nothing happened and the task wouldn't be done.

• After: Once he had mastered the concept of Time, he began to use it himself. Instead of resisting, he would say, “Can I have two more minutes?” or, “I’ll finish after the timer.”

  
  

The shift wasn’t about me finding the “right consequence” — it was about him finding true comprehension. With Davis tools, he could finally orient himself, regulate his energy, and connect meaningfully with the world around him.

Practical Examples: Shifting the Dynamic

1. The Timer Clash

• Scenario: Emma is asked to stop her video game in five minutes when the timer rings. When the timer goes off, she explodes — “You’re not the boss of me!” She refuses, slams the controller down, and storms off.

• What’s happening: With weak concepts of Before/After and Control, the timer feels like an arbitrary external force, stripping her of autonomy.

• Reframe with Davis tools: The parent involves Emma by saying, “You decide — pause now, or when the timer beeps.” Model using Davis Concept mastery  Before/After in clay together. Practise transitions using Davis tools release and dial to lower stress.

• Result: Emma experiences both predictability and choice. The task gets done without a power struggle.

  
  

2. The Homework Battle

• Scenario: Jack refuses to start his homework, insisting, “It’s stupid and unfair!” He pushes the book away.

• What’s happening: Missing Cause/Effect and Consequence means Jack can’t see the purpose of the work or link effort to outcomes. The demand feels meaningless and controlling.

• Reframe with Davis tools: Instead of insisting, the parent says: “Let’s see how writing one sentence causes the story to begin. Then you choose — stop, or add the next sentence.” Use Davis Concept mastery to model Cause and Effect in clay during calmer moments.

• Result: Jack begins to see his actions create results, reducing resistance and helping him feel agency in the process.

3. The Morning Rush

• Scenario: Sophie resists getting dressed, distracted by toys, and shouts when hurried.

• What’s happening: Without Order/Disorder and Time, transitions feel chaotic and overwhelming.

• Reframe with Davis tools: Parent introduces a simple visual sequence (underwear → shirt → trousers → socks). After modelling “Order” and “Time” in clay and use the Davis tools release and dial to notice and adjust stress levels.

• Result: The routine feels predictable, Sophie feels calmer, and mornings are smoother.

Final Thought

Timers often highlight the very vulnerabilities these children live with — their missing concepts of time and consequence, and a deep fear of losing control and feeling vulnerable. Through mastering these concepts and reframing strategies around choice, predictability, and inner control, the Davis approach helps children build the stability and trust they need. It also gives parents and teachers practical tools that genuinely work. I saw this first-hand — my son became so much happier, our home grew calmer, and after years of feeling like I was walking on eggshells, I was finally able to relax. Only then did I realise that I had been living in crisis for years without even knowing it.